If you haven’t had the opportunity to read about what lamenting is and why it matters, be sure to do that!

I’m not sure if you or someone you love has experienced depression.

Depression is debilitating and heavy. It’s hard to describe if you’ve never felt the numbing impact of it.

But, you don’t need to struggle with depression to understand suffering. This just happens to be my story.

A few years ago, I was walking through a very dark time in my life. I was struggling with deep depression and thoughts of suicide. It was all-consuming and led to days without sleeping or eating. The feeling was crushing and it was the most alone I’ve ever felt in my life.

Thankfully, a friend of mine encouraged me to read through Psalm 13. Her challenge to me was to read it every day, even when I didn’t feel like it. 

I reluctantly agreed. 

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I take counsel in my soul

and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;

light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,

lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”

lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 13

This was the first time I was introduced to a lament.

I began reading Psalm 13 every day. Not gonna lie, for the first few days I was unimpressed. 

But, I continued anyway. 

Days went by, then weeks. Soon I realized what was happening. 

I began not to feel so alone. I began to understand that my God was a God that was near to me. If David was able to be real and that didn’t scare God away, I, too, could do the same.

This led me to start journaling. I began to write like David did. I was honest about how I was feeling and I told God all about it.

I wanted to know what this lamenting thing was all about and what it meant to lament. For the first time, I was aware of the deep suffering people in the Bible experienced. They walked through suffering, yet they still cried out to God for help.

When we look at passages of lament in scripture, we begin to see a theme. Usually there are four elements that make up a lament. These elements make up a language unique to Christians. A form of prayer that communicates not only that we are suffering, but who God is in the midst of our suffering.

So, how do we do that?

LOOK TO GOD

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? Psalm 13:1

Usually, when a lament starts, it starts with a direct address to God. This is important to note because the person in pain is choosing to seek God. Instead of running to a friend or family member, they cry out to God.

TELL GOD WHAT’S GOING ON

How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Psalm 13:2

Each lament has an element of complaint. This isn’t meant to be a whiny expression to God, rather an honest expression of why you’re feeling the way you are. Making a complaint isn’t meant to be done out of anger, but rather expressing to God that you have pain, questions, frustrations and confusion deep within. 

ASK FOR HELP

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. Psalm 13:3-4

When you participate in a prayer of lament, you do this because ultimately, you understand that God is the only source of strength and deliverance. Seeking God while experiencing deep suffering is an act of faith. Many times when we experience pain, we choose to do it alone. By lamenting, you acknowledge that you don’t have to be alone. When we sit alone and in silence, it’s easy to feel hopeless. When we lament, we are invited into communication with God that offers hope. Asking for help acknowledges what we already know—that we can’t do it alone and that we need God.

WALK IN TRUST

But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:5-6

When we participate in lament, suffering doesn’t just vanish. Lament doesn’t mean we won’t ever experience pain. It does, however, mean that we are choosing to trust God in the midst of suffering. This should be our final destination when we lament. That when we seek God, we are renewed in knowing that we can completely trust Him. In the moments on the mountain top or in the valley, God does not leave us. We are able to completely trust that God has our best interest in mind. Even though we have to navigate sin, suffering, pain and brokenness—we don’t do it alone. 

The last two verses of Psalm 13 is the part that really got me.

Not that I could complain or list out all the wrongs I had suffered, but that God was with me.

Even though I experienced pain, I could sing to the Lord because I could trust in His steadfast love. Not only did God care for me, but He cared for me unconditionally. 

No matter the trial or unknown, my God was for me not against me.

So, if you’re experiencing suffering and pain, remember that you are not alone. 

You have a mighty God that stoops down to hear the deepest cries of your soul. He holds you close and fights on your behalf. 

When all the pain or confusion surrounds you, step out in faith and cry out to your Father.

By Emily LaGrone